Monday, September 16, 2013

Ser o no ser. Esa es la pregunta.

I hope that everyone is doing good; it sure sounds like it from your emails and letters! I am doing amazing cause I get to be a missionary and serve the Lord all the time. Pretty sweet. Thank you to everyone who has helped give me this opportunity and who is supporting me. I love you all so much!
So, Sunday i was officially made the Zone Leader in sacrament meeting. Sitting on the stand is kinda weird even though there are only like 30 people in sacrament. I get to watch all the missionaries slowly fall asleep and me and Litchfield made bets on who would go first. I even started nodding off a bit but I realized everyone could see me so I kept myself awake. Then all the new ZLs had a training thing that was sort of unnecessary but it was ok. But finally we were OFFICIALLY the zone leaders when the last ZLs called us over and pulled out a crown and sword made mainly from metal clothes hangers and duct tape. They knighted us zone leaders and it was pretty epic. We have 8 new missionaries coming this week so we will be responsible for that and for welcoming them and everything which will be good. i hope i can make them feel welcome and excited!
Classes have been going very well and we committed Alberto to baptism which was pretty sweet. We talked about how he could feel the Spirit more in his life and how if he is baptized he can have the good feelings he feels during prayer and scripture study ALL the time! He was pretty excited about that idea and it made me realize how lucky I have been to have the gift of the Spirit to be with me at all times if I am faithful. I have a friend, leader, comforter, inspirer, helper, etc. at all times! That is amazing and yet I take it for granted too much. We do have one investigator Clara that we are struggling with. She doesn't really share much with us and refuses to say anything and it is hard to get anything out of her. She wouldn't pray either which was lame. But after we taught her she all of a sudden comes into the classroom and says she is going to talk about our lesson cause we all can learn from it. She had some good points and we are trying to learn from them, but it really wasn't presented very well. She just kept on like a 45 minute (not an exaggeration) rant about pretty much everything that bothers her about how missionaries teach and she even took a sarcastic approach at times. She is really a good teacher and I am trying hard to not be negative about the experience but afterwards we didn't feel like we wanted to do better, we just felt discouraged. But we have rebounded and have had good lessons since then and i realized that my teachers are just people. They make mistakes and they don't always approach things the correct way, but they still want to help us. And i also realized that the Spirit is the real teacher and He is the one who I need to listen to and counsel with and ask questions to and I will receive answers and help from the perfect teacher. So it really ended up being a very positive experience and I am glad that it happened so that I could learn a lot from it. I know that if I just listen to the Spirit throughout my mission and work hard then I will become the person that I need to be able to serve others.
I am having a lot of fun even though it is hard work. Elder Litchfield has a hilarious quotable moment like every 15 minutes such as "I think Helen Keller is a myth.. and Stevie Wonder is definitely not actually blind." Also, last night he taped a picture of his (sort of, unofficial) girlfriend on the ceiling (he has the top bunk and I have the bottom bunk) so he could look at her before he fell asleep and I said "I think I'm gonna tape a picture of Jesus above my head" haha it was pretty funny and we had a good laugh. We are teaching with really good unity and are able to finish each others sentences. One time we even said the exact same thing at the exact same time in prefect unison! It was so crazy and i realized that the words i say, if I'm teaching in the right way, are not my words, they come from the Spirit.
Last night we watched a video "Becoming a Missionary" by Elder Bednar and he talked about how some people just go on a mission but others become missionaries. It really motivated me to want to become a missionary! I am going to start making better goals and always trying to get better every day and be molded into the missionary I need to be. I decided that am willing to give up all that I have and all that I am in order to become the missionary that the Lord wants and needs me to be. i know that if i do that then I will be so happy and be able to help others access the Atonement and feel the "exquisite joy" that Alma the Younger felt after repentance (Alma 36, go read it because it is amazing).
This has turned into a very long email so sorry. i just have so many amazing experiences to share and I didn't even get half of them. But that's why the MTC is so amazing! It helps mold us into who we need to be through these amazing, life changing experiences every day! I love you all and I miss you so much. thank you for your letters, emails, and prayers. They are a great strength to me.

Love, Elder Hawk

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